I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well I just put wine in my tea
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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