Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
