So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I look better un-naked...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
