come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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