I bet he comes in French.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
