what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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