Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
