I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
