yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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