i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
