David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I could make wine with my vomit
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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