before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
