time to smoke my breakfast
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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