I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize