Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
