can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
