Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
