Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
