you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
