You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
