Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
