I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
