She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
