the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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