weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
