I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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