fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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