Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
