grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
