i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
