i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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