The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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