I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
