Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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