I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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