thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
