great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Boobs speak an international language.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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