You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
