you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
