just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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