remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
