Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
