haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
