i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
