Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she smelled like a LAN party
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just had sex on a roof
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize