Why are handjobs necessary in class?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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