i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
