he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We are all done wearing pants today
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
