I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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