oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize