Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he puts the penis in happiness.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
When did angry sex become our thing?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
