But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
