That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
