is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
