you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
