new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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