We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My bed smells like the plague
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
