Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
zippers are such a cool invention
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
