call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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