I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
